I was a little worried that The Huffington Post wouldn't know what to do with my last blog
called Pine Straw Update
... but they featured it! And then it got reposted by a bunch of
Southern papers/sites like the Savannah Post! Maybe Arianna liked it because she won't be accused
of being an exclusive blue state elitist if she has posts like mine. After all, only
60 years ago almost a quarter of the people in Georgia were mentally dulled either because
they had chronic hookworm infections (caused by the common practice of going barefoot
because they couldn't afford shoes) or because of pellagra (vitamin deficiency caused
by the diet of fatback, cornbread and molasses). Maybe Arianna wants to get something
in the Living section of her site that is not related to sluts, whores and cheaters. I mean that makes for
compelling reading, but you can't live on a diet of chocolate ice cream forever.
OK, enough nostalgia! Maybe I can use my new huffpost entry to convince my son's 4th grade
teacher, Peter, at Paideia School in Atlanta, that pine straw and chiggers are at least
as interesting as the medieval origin of prescription drugs! (Not that medieval drugs aren't
interesting, but you know what I mean... I mean, let's have some local pride! Pine straw
makes us really unique!) And the funniest thing about my new huffpost blog entry is that it is peppered with ads
for Atlanta landscaping companies! And for search engine sites that can give you information
about chiggers!
Which gets me to the topic of this blog. Prescription medications are... well... funny!
When did I first learn that this was the case? In my first TV interview a couple months ago about my
book on prescription medications, vitamins, and supplements, I was interviewed by Susan
Hoffman of Georgia Public TV. I was a little nervous, because who knows what kind of zingers
an author of a book with the subtitle 'Why the drug industry may be bad for your health' might get?
So I was a little nervous sitting in the 'on deck' room watching her interview the guest
that came before me. He was a State of Georgia bureaucrat talking about legislation
related to the Georgia drought. Her 'lead in' said that in the next half hour they
would be talking about prescription meds, and "did you know that 120 men die every
year from Viagra?" As he came off the set he said "how am I supposed to compete with
Viagra?"
That was when I realized that prescription meds were... well... funny!
A couple of weeks later I was invited to give a talk with Neil Shulman MD
(author of Doc Hollywood and real life inspiration for the film starring Michael J Fox)
and Belinda Stinson on positive psychology, proper living, and health. Belinda talked about the
importance of diet and nutrition, but did it in her clothes she wore when she
weighed 300 pounds, but now she had lost 100 pounds. They were a little... droopy!
Neil did a stand-up comedy routine dressed as a doctor clown.
Which just illustrates the fact that... doctors need to lighten up a little!
I could give the same advice to some of the people who have posted comments
on the recent articles I have written online, which I can categorize as doctors
pissed off that I say you don't need annual checkups, and vitamin lovers
pissed off that I say that vitamins can have harmful side effects (surprised?).
When I spoke at the conference I announced that... I had discovered the cure for smoking, diabetes,
heart disease and depression. For the smoking cure noone yet had relapsed using my method!
It was, Write a book called Before You Take
That Pill: Why the Drug Industry May be Bad for Your Health, in which you say
that changing your lifestyle, including diet, exercise, and smoking is always better
than prescription medications, and you will stop smoking, otherwise you will
be a total hypocrite. You see, I smoked while writing this book, but I quit
when it was published. This method has worked wonders, and no relapses so far! (N=1)
As for diabetes, heart disease and depression, exercise and diet changes are
as good as or better than prescription medications.
OK, the other parts of our presentation included a Chinese Herbal Medicine practitioner,
a laughter therapist, a poet, a representative of a local stop smoking organization,
and others.
After I got home I tried to implement some of the things the laughter therapist taught us.
I assembled my family in the kitchen.
[turning to my 10 year old son with hand outstretched]
"Ha ha ha!" I said.
"Ha ha ha!" he replied while shaking my hand. "I like that!"
Addressing the entire family, I said "Now take two imaginary glasses in your hands,
pour one glass into the other, then pour the second glass into the first, then look
at the ceiling and give a belly laugh "Ha ha ha!"
We all tried to do it together. My son Dylan said "that was great!"
But my wife Viola and my daughter Sabina couldn't get the belly laugh going.
Oh well. My next plan for my medical comedy routine is to juggle brightly colored
prescription medications while standing on one foot and wearing a funny
hat. Or maybe juggling three different insurance plans that are all unaffordable and that
all have incomprehensible 'benefit packages'. Or how about three different hospital bills.
Or three different books of three different 'preferred providers. Or maybe all at once.
Maybe that will get me another feature post on the Huffington Post.
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